Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Julie Takes Joanne for Masterclass

By Edwin Tan (c) 2010

Tip Number Two: Mention your family and how you're doing it all for them
Tip Number Three: Use phrases like "Believe in yourself" and "Follow your dream"
Tip Number Four: You can buy my cook book on sale at Big W. PLEASE buy it!

So according to a reliable source, Julie and Joanne had a DNM tete-a-tete and now they're the best of buddies and share some deep-set bond that only two struggling mothers who miss their families ever so dearly because they're on a reality TV show could possibly feel.

No, I didn't actually read the article from the Woman's Day, but glancing briefly at the two page spread, I could capture the saccharine essence of this tearoom drivel. "Julie is so encouraging, we talk from one mum to another," states Joanne, most likely as she tweaks her lopsided braid.
"FOLLOW YOUR DREAM" is spread across the two pages in bold, capitalised letters just so the vision impaired can also throw up in their mouths from these heartwrenchingly, emotionally nauseating words. *Ack!*

Although I find Matt Preston's histrionic performances equally frustrating, he can go right ahead and drop this magazine article on the floor. Then trample on it. Then burn it. Then dip the charred remains into some liquid nitrogen. Then drop them on the floor again so they shatter into a million pieces. Disgusting indeed. Disgustingly LAME!

No amount of Handee Ultra paper towels can clean up this horrible mess.

PS - Go Alvin! Woo Malaysia!

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